Planning for college is stressful enough when families are on the same page. Add in divorce, strained communication, and limited finances, and the process can quickly feel overwhelming. I recently met with a client whose story mirrors what so many divorced parents experience:

One parent is panicking over the looming costs. The other is focused on visiting the most expensive schools. Communication between them? Nonexistent. Their child is in 12th grade, and decisions need to be made soon.

So what happens when divorced parents can’t agree—and college deadlines are fast approaching?

Step One: Face the Finances

Both parents, regardless of relationship status, need to understand what they can realistically afford. This means looking at:

• Household income and expenses

• Available savings for college

• Eligibility for financial aid

• Potential student loan obligations

Even if the parents can’t sit down together, each should complete their own review. When everyone knows their financial limits, it’s easier to build a realistic plan for the student.

Step Two: Prioritize the Student’s Future

It’s natural for one parent to dream of prestigious schools while the other worries about costs. But the truth is, the college experience isn’t about prestige—it’s about fit and affordability. Students thrive when they attend a school that:

• Matches their academic strengths and goals

• Provides a supportive environment

• Is financially sustainable for the family

When parents are at odds, shifting the focus back to the student’s needs (not the parents’ differences) can be a grounding step.

Step Three: Explore All Options for Savings

There are many ways divorced parents can reduce the cost of college, even when finances are limited:

• Apply for need-based aid (FAFSA and, if required, the CSS Profile)

• Look for merit scholarships offered by colleges for academics, music, athletics, or other talents

• Research outside scholarships from private organizations

• Consider in-state public colleges or honors programs at more affordable schools

• File an appeal with colleges if finances don’t reflect reality (such as high expenses, job loss, or ongoing divorce costs)

Step Four: Seek Neutral Guidance

Sometimes, what families need most is a neutral third party who can help sort through the emotions, the finances, and the options. As I often tell my clients, my role isn’t to take sides—it’s to help families find the best path forward so their student can pursue college without overwhelming debt.

Final Thoughts

Divorce adds a layer of complexity to an already challenging process. But even when parents don’t communicate, and even when budgets are tight, there are solutions. With careful planning, financial aid strategies, and the right support, families can still save thousands of dollars on the cost of college—and keep the student’s future at the center of the conversation.

FAQs

1. What if my ex refuses to cooperate?
You can still move forward. The FAFSA is filed by the parent who provides more financial support, and you can work with colleges directly to explore aid and scholarships.

2. Can both parents take out loans?
Yes, but caution is needed. Each parent should only borrow what they can reasonably afford, without compromising their financial stability.

3. Should my child apply only to affordable schools?
Not necessarily. Apply to a mix. But always compare net costs (after aid and scholarships) rather than just the sticker price.

💌 Free Gift for Divorced & Separated Parents

Struggling to communicate with your ex about college planning?
You’re not alone. That’s why I created a free Communication Template for Separated and Divorced Parents—a simple tool to help you start the conversation, reduce conflict, and stay focused on your teen’s future.

👉 Download Your Free Communication Template here

And if you’re ready for one-on-one guidance tailored to your family’s situation, I’d be happy to talk. Together, in a free, introductory call, we can begin to create a plan to save money on the cost of college.

📞 Contact me at hello@CollegeFinancialPrep.com or CLICK HERE to schedule your consultation.

About Vicki Vollweiler & College Financial Prep

I’m Vicki Vollweiler, Founder and CEO of College Financial Prep and author of College Planning for Divorced and Widowed Parents. For more than a decade, I’ve guided parents—married, divorced, separated, remarried, and widowed—through the challenges of planning and paying for college.

At College Financial Prep, we help families save thousands of dollars on college costs while reducing financial and emotional stress. From financial aid and scholarships to appeals, student loans, and personalized advising, we provide the expertise, empathy, and support you need to make the best decisions for your child’s future.

Learn more at www.CollegeFinancialPrep.com.